Updated: Dec 8, 2021
Use these to warm up your confidence and speaking-up muscles
For the past few weeks, I have been surprisingly receiving one query in particular from various quarters.
“How do I build confidence? How do I gather the strength and courage to tell my boss/ clients/coworkers/family members/partners that their behaviour is problematic and I don’t like it? Could you recommend some tips, suggestions, books, or videos that I can use immediately?”
These people are well aware that speaking up is the best and only solution for their issues. The one thing they need is the courage and confidence to do so.
Firstly, you have to remember that you can speak your mind respectfully, politely, gracefully, and elegantly. I’ve written a blog post in the past on the various tips you can use for exercising your assertiveness muscles.
TBH, there was a time when I’d ask the same questions to others. As someone from a formerly troubled family, I know the importance of speaking up fearlessly. Yet, over the years, I have been in that place where I’d simply swallow whatever others would throw at me. Be it in my career or love lives, I have endured them all.
Not anymore, though.
I now remind myself that I’ve come a long way from that life, thanks in large part to my book (buy/download, read, and review it here; it’s FREE on Kindle Unlimited), freelancing business, blogging, screenwriting, therapy, and overall journey.
I’m still in the process of building my confidence muscles, but the work is very much on.
What I’ve now done is identified a few resources that are helping mould me into a more confident, more courageous self. Here they are for your anytime reference.
A New Mode
Although this blog cum YouTube and Instagram channel revolves around dating and relationships, the core advice across all its content is the same: self-love and raising your standards.
It seems as if New York-based dating coach Sabrina Alexis instinctively manages to understand my issues and dish out the root cause of them all. Although the truths she reveals are hard to digest, I still take down plenty of notes and highlight the relevant bits. As a result, I can feel my preprogrammed notions give way to something better and more empowering.
Here’s the link to A New Mode’s YouTube channel, Instagram page, and blog. If there’s only one video you can watch, let this one on confident women’s mindsets be it. It’s equally applicable for all genders, so do check it out. The best part about this video is that even if you replace the romance element with work and career, the advice still holds.
Update as of Wed, 8 Dec 2021: Sabrina has been expressing anti-vaxxing views in her recent Instagram stories. While this development should not affect the overall quality of her usual content, I leave it to you to exercise your discretion and take a call on following her channels.
I’m so grateful for that momentous day my friend Ayesha Aleem sent me a DM on Twitter, asking me to subscribe to her newsletter.
Themed on women empowerment and achievements, Auntie Ayesha is a must-read for everyone, irrespective of their gender. The amount of painstaking research Ayesha puts into compiling it is spellbinding.
I impatiently wait for it every week or so to arrive in my inbox so I can read it in one go.
It’s from Ayesha’s newsletter that I’ve learned about such gems as “At every moment, you are EXACTLY where you are meant to be and this is no accident,” and how PMS is such a widely ignored and highly misunderstood issue, made worse by all those insensitive jokes around.
Each word shifts something in my head, and I can feel my life change as a result.
Do subscribe to Ayesha’s newsletter here; your confidence levels will soar to different heights, I can guarantee you.
I thank my stars that I stumbled upon this bestselling memoir by Anthony Bourdain and have done a blog post around its business lessons.
Whenever I need guidance, I turn to this post and then refer to the larger book. Doing this helps me see how the late chef would have responded to the situation I’m in.
Most of the time, it works like magic and I get all the clarity and confidence I need.
You can buy the book here.
I know what you’re thinking. How is a Rohit Shetty masala movie, infamous for its predominantly male gaze, a “confidence builder”?
Well, here’s the thing: Despite its issues and ludicrous moments, it somehow miraculously works in upping my confidence levels.
Singham’s plot revolves around a cop facing harassment from a powerful gangster-turned-politician and how the tables eventually turn. The one thing I took away from the film is this—your bosses/clients/coworkers can either get the work done or get their whims and fancies fulfilled. They can’t have it both ways. It’s surprisingly a very powerful message from an over-the-top film that doesn’t claim to take itself too seriously. I’d highly recommend it if you need a quick confidence boost, Bollywood-style. You can watch it on Amazon Prime Video.
Do let me know whether these suggestions work for you. I’m also on the lookout for more confidence-building resources. If you have any recommendations of your own, do drop them down in the comments below. I’ll check them out and post my thoughts about them.